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I'm in isolation, advice with just staying in bed



  • Then I will count myself among the low-functioning, toxic, and unhealthy members (except I don't stay in bed and don't walk my dogs, lol).

  • Sandi, I totally agree! I told myself I would not reply to anymore of Jon’s post whether male or female! Like you, I didn’t know there were children involved!! None of us know their history, but in one post they mention their mother won,t even look at them! As a man who has taken care of thousands of patients in my post career, I can honestly say I understand why. I’m trying so hard to keep my personal opinions to myself on this one!This individual whether male or female needs to get over the woo me attitude! Yes their in pain but....get you ass out of the bed ( to keep your legs warm ) and get help!! Whether physical or mental, you need help!! Sympathy only goes to far and there’s a point where you take advantage of it!! Hate to say it but your taking advantage of it! Your Mom is seeing right through it! I apologize to all! I always thought this web site was for individuals facing or ongoing spinal surgery! Not as a constant enabler for constant individuals begging for sympathy! Jon, get your ass out of bed, deal with what you’ve been dealt and seek the help you need! You have kids that are looking for a role model! Sympathy for keeping your legs warm but get your ass out of bed and grow up! Mom and Dad will not always be there for you to suck up too! Truth hurts!

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  • I’d like to take a moment and apologize to all members of this site! I normally do NOT call someone out but after reading so much of woo me, I’m in isolation, I could NOT help myself!! This site has to many true members that need advice or help or questions. This member has to many issues that can not be “cured” by a website! We have members with multiple rods, plates and screws to deal with a lazy ass that wants their legs warm!! Especially a parent with kids! Again I apologize to all moderators and members!

  • L4_L5LL4_L5 Posts: 235
    edited 12/19/2017 - 5:36 PM

    Then I will count myself among the low-functioning, toxic, and unhealthy members (except I don't stay in bed and don't walk my dogs, lol).
    You’re also not 48 years old with pain that is made much better by Tramodol. You’ve earned the right to lay in bed all day if you so choose since you’re a great grandma. :-)
  • High 5 L4 L5, completely agree!

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  • I apologize for keep posting...some might think lack of compassion! In my past life I’ve had the horror of telling parents that there was nothing we could do to save their 3 year old son who drowned in their swimming g pool. I’ve had the horror of pronouncing young teens who died from traffic accidents, or who were jogging and hit hit by multiple vehicles only to have 7 sheets to cover up their body parts. I’ve drug young people from fires who had no chance. I live these deaths daily!! What could I have done differently? Truth is nothing! God has his reasons! My disabling injury was caused by a victim, trapped in a school board truck with a anheiser Busch truck on top of him who turned my safety shield and helmet to the point of no return which resulted in my surgery after severe cord compression. And no use of my left arm! ( he asked for ice cream As he whipped my butt)! Has it changed my life? No doubt. If you ask me if I would do the same knowing the outcome? Without a doubt! The only time I cried is when I testified at his trial and saw him and wife and 2 children beside of him. What I gave up was small! Yes, I lost my 30 year career, Yes I’m in constant pain so bad my wife and I no longer share the same bed! Getting up 3-4 times a night and her rolling over which increases the pain...you all get the picture! I’ve fought fires where ice would build up on our bunker suits! So please excuse me when I tell a person who wants to keep their legs warm!

  • David,

    We understand. There are many of us who's entire lives were turned upside down and forever altered. I am the wife of a 35 year police officer, mother to a dispatcher, and 3 other adult children all involved in EMS.

    I have empathy for Jon, and I think he believes he is incapable of functioning and standing on his own two feet. Which is why I suggested psychological assistance.

    I hope he gets it, for his and his grandchildren, and his parents sake. They deserve not to be caregivers of an almost 50 y.o. adult, who is capable of doing far more than he currently is motivated to.

    My grandmother always said, necessity is the motherhood of invention. In this situation, I would say Necessity is the motherhood of motivation.

    Thank You for your years of service to the public Dave. The things you and my family see daily provides a different perspective about the capacity of human beings.

  • Great grandma,

    There are days that all of us need extra time and deal with extra pain. I don't function as I once did, can no longer do many of the things I once did...BUT, I make sure I get dressed each day, that I interact with others, maintain as much independence and productive activity as I can.

    Sciatica is painful during flares, but it is seldom disabling to the point that Jon portrays his level of function and inability to care for himself.

    That's what my comments were about...his allowing his condition to incapacitate himself and put the responsibility for his well being on his elderly parents, while he spends inordinate amounts of time in bed, making excuses for why he can't take responsibility for himself.

    I AM concerned about him...The vicious self perpetuating cycle he appears stuck in.

    I want HIM to get motivated to be a functional, responsible, independent, adult.

  • This post is drawing out some raw emotions.

    Please remember that there are many members who are new and dont know your styles of motivation or extending the hand up.

    Its easy to get personal and frustrated at times.


    Step back and remember,its not only the OP who is reading,interpreting or thinking about the advice being given.

    Whether or not a member will choose to take the advice...

    Or not will be their ultimate decision. The members of this thread and forum have been there...done that and can see what others may not. But there is a limit to what a member should extend themselves before a passionate response erupts.

    Its always good that so many are ready willing and able to help...but the recieving end must consider and digest the input.

    Ultimately..we are our own arbiters of our course.

    Attitude determines outcome

    Self determination...and the willingness to get up one more time than the fall is a character trait a lot of veteran Spineys share

    It is a learned concept through practice

    Fear determines outcome too...fear will lead to simply freezing and choosing to do nothing in order to avoid having to make a choice.

    Depression makes a person lie to themselves...

    The five stages of grief ..silently and surely set claws and guide self imagery...defeatist behavior until they are worked through.

    Sometimes..It is..what it is? Is the rule.

    Ultimately..each Chronic pain patient must decide what to do..or not

    What may seem as comfortable may simply be a persons way of avoiding the inevitable ...having to face the truth.

    Good work Spineys.

    We are Team

    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • jonisingt35rjjonisingt35r Posts: 165
    edited 12/20/2017 - 4:31 AM

    I've had this pain for a long time now I've seen everybody, medically I'm just trying to enjoy lift as I can being with my family I cannot work I've tryed many times I just cannot hide the fact I am in pain and cannot function property

    When I'm at my worst its not a pretty sight I just need someone to talk to for advice as I don't really feel I can make the right ones,

    On don't feel like I'm on control of myself sometimes not due to drugs, but being in pain, I'm in pain I don't know where I am, when I wake up sometimes. I'm just trying to be human talking to someone here, I'm not depresses I'm in massive pain.

    I have had a little relief recently I think I hope I started to take this anti inflammatory drug that i think is doing somethng naxopithine.

    I took it yesterday twice and it seemed to relax a muscle in my right leg an hour or so later and reduced my pain. I lived on my own a while back and nearly died, and teyed to kill myself a few times I kow I cannot look aftermysely.

    I'm the nicest person on the word and love my family dearly. When your in pain you want to be with someone well I do my family. Just need someone to talk to as I'm really frightened..and can't cope on my own,

    Thank you

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